Beauty in the simple things

A few weeks ago I was greeted by this glorious sunrise. I had seen many beautiful paintings by God but I always seem to forget to pack my camera to capture them. However, something told me this day, pack it and don't take it out again. I listened, and here is what  transpired.  We often take for granted a beautiful sunrise or sunset, but I always like to think God made these for me, and well for you to enjoy. Thank You God for your grandeur and beauty.

Short-Term Independence

Recently life at my house has changed. During December my dad underwent open heart surgery. He pulled through fine and has made great strides in his recovery. He is eighty, so, his recovery time is slower. However, my mom has had to adjust her schedule and learn to do a few things on her own. Years ago she learned how to pump gas, but, as my parents have purchased a new car last December, she didn't know exactly where the gas cap was located. On one of the occasions she had to drive home, pumping gas was a requirement, and she did just fine. It took my sister helping her but she still did fine. 

Among other things my mother has learned that writing checks is a necessity in paying bills. Granted my mom can write checks all day long if need be, but she hasn't been in charge of paying the bills in a few years. Another one of the things she excels at but was hesitant to do. 

Years ago, when my dad left our family my mom had to learn to become slightly independent, however, she did not like it very much. Many women in our society are not independent and there is nothing wrong with it but it does make things harder for these less than independent women when the man of the house leaves or suddenly dies. 

It was a learning experience for my mom and this time around is no different. She has learned where the gas cap release button is in the car and where the gas cap is. She has learned that in our society she has to be aware that paying at the pump is necessary. You either pay with your credit card, ATM card or just plain old fashion cash. You pay before you pump gas because thievery has become rampant in our society. Gas thieves are everywhere. Mom is not defenseless in anyway, however, learning these new things are good for her. One day, hopefully not in the near future, she will either be alone again or rely on one of us kids to take care of the normal every day things for her. I wouldn't mind to do that for my mom but I actually prefer for her to know how to do these things on her own. So I am in favor of slight independence for women, young and old alike. 

Women are sometimes overly independent in our society today. But women should be prepared to do things that their husbands normally do, like, pumping gas or writing checks to pay bills. My mom wouldn't do well with online banking but she does know how to work a computer and yes, they do have a slightly newer model. Any way back to my musing, women, get out there and learn how to do simple things that men may do for you every day. Learn that your car needs oil, gas and water to run properly. Learn where these chemicals go and why you need them. You don't need to know how to overhaul your engine or transmission but make yourself aware of the simple mechanics of your car. Routine check ups are required to keep your motor running just like routine check ups at a physicians office is required for our bodies to work properly. We and our cars are alike in many areas. Learn those simple but necessary things that your car needs to function everyday. Don't be bumfussled when a mechanic asks about your transmission or your engine. We should know simple things like how many cylinders does the car engine have? Is it a V6, V8 or small V4. Know what sort of transmission you have. Know what size tires and wheels you need when the old tires wear out. Learn all you can, Ladies. It's important. It may not interest you but it is still important. One day you may find yourself alone, whether by choice or by accident. Don't wait til that day to know how to take care of things. Learn Now. 

God leads those to us who are broken.

Most of my days are spent in a office of normal size, with normal things sitting on the desk. A computer, screen and printer. A fax machine, ample amount of paper to print things on or to send a fax with. We have organizers all around for the mixed up papers that often clutter the desk. My line of work doesn't get me posted on the front page of the paper, nor does it get any notification of grand design. I work for our local hospital and I work for our industry in our small community. What we do each day doesn't make print often if at all. It doesn't make a lot of money for our employer but thank God we are there.

Wednesday was a normal day just like any other, or it started out as such. However, within hours something would happen that would open my eyes to hurt and pain, not necessarily mine. We see many different walks of life come through our doors, we see the average Joe, we see those that have demons and addictions, we see those that are really just wondering how to pass a drug test when their lives are cluttered with drug use. We see those who are seeking help. And some of them actually are trying to get help.

Back to my story, a fellow was brought in because he was trying to get into a rehabilitation center for drug use. We have a contract with this place to draw blood and other tests. Most pass the test and are fine. A small percentage do not. It was this small percentage I happened to witness yesterday and it broke my heart to see such pain. I have no understanding of what it is like to be addicted to any drug that it controls everything I do or say. I have sympathy or empathy for those that experience this and I pray for them. But rarely do I see a person that so desperately seeks help and turned away. If you fail one test that they require, they can't take them into rehab. I saw such a person this week. On Wednesday we did the test. And as I often do I made small talk with the person on the other side of the needle that I must use to draw blood with. I recognized such a need in this person I began to pray after the patient had left my office. As I lay down for bed that night I prayed again. As I woke up the next day I prayed once more. Friday came and I was praying again. The patient came back for test results and the results were not good. This person was going to be turned away for treatment that he so desperately wanted and needed. As I stood there listening to one of the men from the facility I kept thinking to myself, why can't this guy get a break. Why can't he get totally clean. I felt a small voice in my heart speak to me, it said Go. I could not allow this man to leave our facility until I had spoken with him. I escorted the one guy back to the lobby and I walked over to this broken man, I sat down beside him and put my arm around his shoulders, as I sat there hugging this man, I told him I had been praying for him and that I would continue to pray for him. I also shared that he also needed to continue to pray and talk with God. To be strong.

I will never know if my words of comfort will make a difference in the life that was so broken or not. But I listened to the voice of God as He spoke to me as He often speaks with a small voice that nudges your heart. I hope beyond hopes that this man gets help. I hope he gets clean. and I hope that he looks to Jesus for strength to make it through another day sober and clean.

We never know what a day will bring forth. Sometimes we have happy stories, others are sad and some are inspiring and others break your heart as nothing else can. May we listen to that voice as it gently nudges our hearts the voice of God as he gently speaks to us. May we be a light to others living in darkness and may we serve others as God served on this earth. Each day brings hope to me, some, may not have that hope. I pray that the hope that lives in my heart will also be in the hearts that live with addictions or darkness. That is my story. It is one I won't forget for a while. I hope I never forget it.  I hope I always remember to listen to the still, small voice that speaks to my heart. Let me Go when  I am told.. simply to GO.

Thoughts of Christmas

Thou Christmas has come and gone so many thoughts swirl around in my head, like, Jesus, family, and friends. Also many thoughts of sparkling lights, stores filled with anxious shoppers, and a small house I once thought was quite large.

This Christmas season I did something out of the ordinary, I visited the house my grandmother lived in, a house that once held the fondest memories, the best smells, and the feeling that no matter what was going on in the world, here, I felt safe.

I can't actually remember the last time I went there, but it doesn't hold those warm feelings for me anymore. My aunt, and my uncle both still live there, yet, I find no reason to make a seven mile trek to visit them. But because my Mom asked me to, I went this year. Everyone wanted to gather there, to visit siblings, and reconnect. I was not inclined to do those things, but yet, I was driven there by a need to be respectful of my mother's feelings. So I went.

The house is still the same, yet different. It's a small house, it's not ornate, or grand, yet it housed the best treasure of my childhood, my grandmother. The smells I remember are gone, her cooking fried chicken, or fresh baked cake. The same metal sink is still in the kitchen, a few changes have taken place, a new room or two have been added, yet, some of the same things were there, a couch my grandmother had, I am sure her quilts were put away somewhere, and pictures that were sitting around that have been there as long as I can remember.

Seeing my family was a bit awkward, since I rarely see most of them, and eating food not cooked by my grandmother was a bit strange. I sat there wondering how I could have thought this 3 or 4 room house could have been big to my small eyes? Yet, it was back then. I felt I couldn't ever find all the rooms, and explore all the contents. But this day, I saw how small the house was, a shell of what it once was. For all the reason for me being there were gone. My grandparents are dead, and the house doesn't hold the same sentiment as it once did. I find it difficult to go back there, find it difficult to face the warm memories of my youth, and that none of that warmness lingers there, only inside me.

So that was part of my Christmas experience this year. Though it was rough, I did it, and yet, I don't expect to go back there anytime soon. I don't have to be in the house to remember the fires that burned in the stove, the fresh cooked meals that were prepared lovingly by my Grannie's hands, or the hugs received as we left out the door. No, I can remember them right here where I sit, and sometimes I allow myself those memories, other times, it's too much to bear or endure.

This Christmas was a good one, we were blessed with enough food to fill our stomach, enough laughter to fill our hearts, and enough love to spill over til the next time we are together. I thank Jesus, for coming to earth, being a sacrifice for all, and for his promise to return. I hope some of those memories were with some of you as well. For, after all, He is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas, Jesus.

What a Day can bring

Easter has come and gone, and you never know what a day will bring forth. It certainly was a challenge for me mainly, because I was sick. We had a house full of family along with some wonderful food, and my favorite, dessert ha ha.

I had a hard time enduring all the chatter, or even taking part in it due to my sinus's were acting up, and still are for that matter.

I heard my sister say that all three of my aunts hide their sweets from others, a trait that came from my grandpa.

I heard my brother tell about the racing that my uncle Don did way back in his day. And how no one could touch him. Many facts like, in the old house my uncle lived in, every corner was full of trophies from said races, most of which he won 1st or 2nd place. And my brother told the story about my uncle's wrecked race car and how it was buried up to the roof in my grandpa's field. Not too many people can say they could look at a race car sticking up out of the ground. No not many.

My uncle Ronald told the story about the first time he went to pick up my aunt for a date, how the door opened after he knocked, but no one was standing there when it was fully open.. needless to say, I am sure that was nearly enough to scare him to death, or make him not want to go in. I don't think my grandpa invited him in, and he said, my grandpa never spoke one single word to him that day. He was a man of few words, so you better listen closely when he did speak.

We had many stories that day, among those mentioned above. And I relish in them each time they are told, like it is my first time hearing them. I could hear them over and over and never tire of them.

Maybe on Mother's Day, we will hear some more.

One sad note, Tiffany was not able to be with us, but on a brighter note, Trista did... which made my day. Maybe next year Tiff can be with us.

And so, I sign off, with these stories churning round in my head. They are by far some of my favorite childhood memories.

Have a good day.

Selfish

A New Year is here. It is hard for me to imagine that we live in the year 2010. Reality has not set in yet. As I complained about Christmas, it has approached me, and past on by like a gentle breeze. This has been one of the Best Christmas's in a while and I will explain why; I didn't go out spending a lot of money. In fact I gave money to a few people and I bought one small present. I received a great deal more and I will continue to explain.

I didn't have a Christmas list, I didn't tell anyone of one single gift I wanted and to be honest, I didn't receive one single gift that was wrapped up in shiny paper or draped with bows or ribbons. What I did receive, the best gift I think of all; spending the day with family, more importantly making sure my family knows how much they mean to me. And for making friends that eat Christmas lunch with us feel like they are family. It was a great day, although nothing out of the ordinary occurred. What made it great was who I was with, the time that we spent, sharing the food, and the laughter, hugs and spread love.

And so, with that said, my title invokes such a different message, and I am certainly getting to that believe you me.

Selfish, what does this word mean? What sort of images arise in your minds when you hear this word? For me, it's someone so wrapped up in themselves that they can't see anyone else. It's someone that thinks they are the most important person on the planet, even though they are but a tiny dot in the humanity of this world in which we live. They are people who talk non stop about themselves, not giving anyone a chance to even respond.

I have encountered people such as this, and every time I do, I wonder in my own head, am I that way? Of course, we would never think that of ourselves, but really " are we?"

When you look at the image in the mirror, who is looking back at you?

Are you the kind of person who holds the door for others, who may help a stranger on the street? The kind of person who doesn't complain about long lines, or being in a rush? The kind of person who smiles at others even if you don't know them? Or are you the kind of person who walks around blindly never seeing the world in front of you? Who never knows the people that could impact your life because you are to wrapped up in yourself? Too wrapped up to see that people have needs, people need you, or that people actually might have feelings to?

Next time we look into the mirror, pay attention to who is looking back at you... and tell me, who do you see?

I have a short time to write and a lot on my mind. Got church in a while, and been to church twice today. Once for our regular service, and second to see a old family friend baptized and third for our regular evening service.

Thoughts crash through my mind like waves against the shore, and sometimes they rage, sometimes they are quiet, silently seeping up onto the beach. Sometimes my thoughts do not demand vocalization, but sometimes they do. Today, they do.

Why can't people just leave people alone? Why do they think that just because you are not married, or have kids that your life is not complete? Recently I was asked if I wanted to be " fixed up" with a good guy and my response was "No." But yet again here is the same person pushing for me to be "Fixed up." And my response is still "NO!" Can not a person be content exactly where they are? Surrounded by family, good friends, and people who make up your life? Why is there such a need or desire in people that pushes others to get married? I know there are people out there who are happily married, and I am very glad of it believe you me, I am. But for those of us who are not married, and are content with their lives, Just leave us alone for goodness sake.

Don't be a person who insist that everyone has to be paired up in marriage. Sometimes, Marriage is not for everyone. So just leave it alone okay?

Now, who I am referring to will never read this blog, but for those who might read it, and some of these musings describe you, STOP IT. Some people just want to be left alone to live the life they have, married or not, kids or not, and are content with the life they have.

Thank You, and please just let those of us be who are happy being single, and are really meant to be in the "Not Married Crowd."

How did we get here

I haven't been blogging much lately but many things have run through my mind. Thanksgiving is now over and I went shopping on Black Friday and survived. Amazing. Yet, I can't help but feel the pull of all the Christmas decorations around homes, and in stores, pulling me to my dreaded state of mind for this season.

I am not much into the commericalism of Christmas, I hate the hurried rush for everyone to get their decorations out and that it must be done right after Thanksgiving. I heard the other day from someone, " I have so much to put out, I need to get it up early in order to enjoy it." It is the quest for more that leads us to not enjoy what Christmas is meant for.. The birth of our Savior. Did he rush around Bethleham looking for the perfect gifts, I sorta doubt it, did he worry if he had all the current rave of decorative lights strung up around his home? It sounds sorta lame to me to even begin to place Jesus in that sort of Idealism.

He wasn't worried about gifts, he gave the greatest one of all.. Himself. He wasn't worried about lights, He is the brightest light in all the world. He didn't have all the shiny decorations from Christmas's past, or Christmas present placed about his home, He doesn't need them, He has all the stars in the sky, the moon to shine around him and illumminate his world.

Hence is my thinking, Why do we need all these decorations to celebrate the birth of Jesus?

I wonder sometimes, and I have no answer. Yet, I see the lights, the shiny stars and the moon shining up above, and I wonder, isn't this enough?

This year, can we try to celebrate the Real Reason for Christmas, and think for a moment, is this what our Savior would do?

I am ever grateful for his birth, that he loved me enough to come to earth as a babe, and to grow to manhood only to die at 33. Happy Birthday Jesus.

Looking Back and Facing Forward

This past week has been busy, by that I mean things have progressed rapidly past me. I am somehow standing in the middle of the road, looking backward at the curves and twisting pavement left behind. I have been pondering in my head and heart just what to do with my life.?? And those thoughts have turned me once again back to days gone by. I travel back to fifth grade, where I had a student teacher that loved for us to use our imaginations and produce stories. Stories that were about anything we wished, we had control of the topic. And though I am sure my fifth grade mind was not all that creative, I dove in head first, maybe even feet first, to see how fast I could get wet.

And now I fast forward a bit to my current vocation, being in the medical field of sorts, working in our local, and brand new hospital. Somehow, I took a few different paths, wasted a lot of years working hard physically in factories, and also putting my health at risk. So I am faced with the decision once more, am I staying in the medical field, or am I moving back to the love of my youth? And again I seem to be jumping feet first, a little more hesitant than I was in the fifth grade, but jumping none the less. I changed my concentration today from Physical Therapy Assistant to of all things, Journalism. Before I had the student teacher in fifth grade, I never thought much of writing. But after a few of my creative stories, she rapidly encouraged me to move on and continue to write more. Maybe I wasn't so bad after all?? lol. Maybe I was. ? But just the same, either or.. I have loved to write down things, feelings, etc ever since that year. I have kept journals, I have half heartily kept them. And even though most are very personal, I still keep them, and read them from time to time. And I look back to that little girl I once was and remember her zest for story telling, and I smile. Maybe I won't make a good writer, but ya know it really doesn't matter much, because published or not, it's a part of who I was, who I am, and who I am yet to be.

So watch out, let's hope I don't make a huge splash and flop.

I Could Be Napping...

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On this sunny, breezy Fall day, I could have taken a nap. I should be doing my homework, and I should have already gotten my ironing for the week finished. But, I helped my Gramps caulk our outside building, to keep out the rain and dampness, and I brought in my winter clothes while putting away my summer ones.
This weekend made me realize how old I am, I am not some twenty something young girl, who can go traipsing over rock and hill without pains. I don't actually know how many miles we hiked this past Saturday, but according to my right knee, a wee bit too long. Granted it has been a while since I have been hiking..and granted it has been a while since I climbed over rocks or through some rocks in one spot and my body is not as limber and giving as it once was. You would think that at forty you would still have that limberness, and stretchability in your body, well quite frankly, I don't. Much to my surprise, on the way back down the trail my right knee began to hurt, and each step became painful. But I trod on, just a wee bit slower than the rest of the group.
This was a outing for the teens in the church, and five adult ladies whose ages range from fifty something to thirty something, who would still like to think that they are not too old to be hiking in God's beautiful creation with young ladies who still can bend and twist without much pain. Ha ha.
Anyway, we have very few teens in our congregation, but one of the girls invited another girl, and we thought a few of the boys would show up. Though, I think we would have bitten off way much more than we could have chewed with them along. So here we go, walking along the trail, looking at the beautiful colors of the Fall leaves, the brilliant colors: orange, red, and yellow, the roaring sound of the water beside us, with it's nature ebb and flow. Our goal was to reach a place called the Laurel Falls, or the bottom of the falls, which seemed such an easy task. Little did we know that after hiking upward for what seemed five or six hours, in reality was only one and a half, we decided we had taken a wrong turn somewhere. So we stand perplexed about what to do next, standing there on a narrow path, and talking peaceably among ourselves about what to do next. One of the young girls did not have much experience hiking, and was for the most part, quite tired. The rest of us agreed that we should turn back, make arrangements to come back again and find out where our path led us astray. So turning to go back down, the hardest part of hiking in my opinion, we go back the way we came. And for protection purposes, the one young teen gal, Sue was much over joyed at the prospect of returning back to our parked cars. However, I wasn't the only one of the bunch who suffered injury, Sue, our feisty young teen, who began to sing Michael Jackson songs, and give it her best shot to dance like the singer, who recently has passed on, fell on rocks, on her knees and catching herself by her wrist. Ouch!
We made it back to the cars, and drove single file out of the park, each separating after reaching the main road, and going to do different things, one to pick up pizza's for the group, one to turn on the ovens at church to cook the cookies and stuff that was waiting, and one to go and get items that were forgotten .
We had every intention of having a quick hike, seeing beautiful waterfalls, and spending the afternoon cooking for our Pastor, and some of the elderly people in our church. It turned out to be something of a different nature, one because we had forgotten several item to cook with, and a certain person's cookies, that were supposed to harden and make nice oatmeal chocolate cookies, didn't turn out so well. But there was much fun during the hike, we acquired lots of pretty photos, we got to be together for an afternoon of joyful fellowship, and we did a good deed for those who received the baked goodies. All in all, it was good, and I would do it again, without the pain in the knee mind you, but I would rather be out living life, than sitting on the porch wishing I had.
Thank God for the beautiful scenery he places before us, and may we each decide to bask in it as often as we can.

Life, Death, and how they connect us

Today I shared in the celebration of the passing of a very dear lady, Ms Nettie Hafer. My mom was a caregiver to this dear lady, and so much more. After ninety-seven years upon this earth our Lord called this woman home to dear ones gone on before her, and to allow her painful body that she had on this earth to have a new pain free one in Heaven. I don't often speak of such experiences, because simply it's not a thing most folk like to hear about. Since I really have only one other person who reads this.. I figure what the heck.. why not.
Several times this year I have been to funeral homes to pay my so called respects, some to friends who have lost family, others to family that have lost loved ones and as today to celebrate the life of Ms Hafer. I met her a few times, and though my mother worked for her for six years, I really didn't know Ms Nettie, but, I heard a lot of stories from my mom, and Ms Linda, Ms Nettie's daughter, with whom I work.since only knowing this dear person for such a short time, I only knew the lady behind the thick, grey hair, the painful body aches, and the loss of hearing that age brings on. Ms Nettie couldn't see well nor could she hear well, but she had a mind that was still sharp and for ninety-seven that is pretty darn good.
But instead of going to a funeral home and finding an open casket waiting for me, I went to a Methodist Church and found wonderful pictures of Ms Nettie from various stages in her life. She was a very beautiful woman, in fact, several of the family and friends commented that her granddaughter, Wendy, looks a lot like her. Which is nice to hear, since Ms Nettie seemed to be a timeless and classy sorta gal. She knew how to dress well, even if her clothes were not brand new. She still looked very classy. Mom always commented how pretty her hair was, and how very thick it was, even for a woman of her age.
So I say that instead of going to a dreary funeral home, I entered a nice church with stained glass windows, arches and moldings that were decades old. It was a nice and welcomed change from the norm. A memorial service is far different than a funeral on any given day, and I for one would much rather celebrate the fact that someone was going to a better place than to think of much harsher realities were in store. I do realizenot all people go to a better place, but I also realize, that was their choice. And I am forced to realize my own choices today... I want to join my family and loved ones who have passed on into eternity before me.. to fellowship with them once again in the brilliant light of our new Son. The Good Book says that sunlight is not needed in heaven because the brilliance of God's glory lights up the heavens. What an amazing concept and how can people not want to see that glory?
Ok, so I did get off track a bit, but still, here I am typing away, and thinking of how even if we think we know someone, Do we really? I would have to say NO! Our pastor said the same thing tonite during service to make several points, of course, that I won't bore you with, but when you truly think about it, We do tend to think we know people we are close to, whether it be friends, family, or our neighbors. We do think that because we talk to them, and we know things about them, but deep down, we only know what they allow us to know, not really who they truly are.
So I say this all to say this... Ms Nettie wasn't someone I knew.. I was merely someone who knew of her, but I know she led a full life for ninety seven years, that she was well taken care of all her life, that she enjoyed friends, and she enjoyed music. And so, I leave you with this thought.. at the end of the day, possibly the end of our lives, what will someone know about YOU?

Journey's Traveled

Yesterday was a wonderful Fall day. I took a journey down a path I have never traveled before. I went to Dahlonega, Ga. Now most folk when you say the name of the city, would sorta look at you funny, and cock their heads to one side, and say" Dahlonega, why in the world did you go there?"
And to be honest, I would have to say, that before going to that quiet little town, I would have said the same thing. Why did I go there?
Well the answer sure does bring various answers to that question, like I originally went there for a concert, but what I actually got from the trip is so much more.
This is a town that has a small college there, it has a town square, with all these quaint little shops, restaurants that have delicious smells that greet you on the sidewalk, and friendly people that remind you that this is what small towns are all about.
Yes, I saw a great concert last nite, and heard two great ladies sing. But I was also reminded that, in towns such as this, lives people that still say hello to you as you walk down the street, towns where, people take pride in it's little small square, and towns where you feel like you just stepped off your own front porch.
Listening to one of my favorite singers was a plus, hearing her tell her cute and funny stories, priceless, and listening to her talented husband accompany her on her acoustic guitar that just catches your attention, makes your leg move in time and rhythm of the music, and gives you such a complete feeling of contentment like nothing else truly can.
Jennifer Daniels is this great artist I speak of, and her equally talented husband Jeff plays the electric guitar and mandolin. And just as they accompany each others musical talents, from your seat, if you pay very close attention, you can equally see how they accompany each others lives. When they are on stage, Jeff watches Jennifer very closely, and sometimes when he is not playing with her he will wander off stage and watch from a seat, and you see Jennifer look for him in the crowd, and a small, faint smile graces her face. And you know, that the music isn't just the only thing they have in common, but you feel the deep respect they have for one another, the love that they share, and the need to be with the other, even if its from a small seat in the back of the building. Jeff is a quiet sorta guy, but you can sense the admiration he has for his singing wife and that he enjoys listening to her play and sing their songs on a deep emotional level.
Sometimes, you have to leave the quiet walls of your home, travel down paths you never thought you would, find these quiet, quaint towns nestled in the mountains to remind you, to.. from one of the opening acts songs... simply..."LIVE LIFE." Sometimes we get caught up in our lives that we forget that we are actually living them. We fall into routines, ruts, and get lost some where down the paths we travel each day. We need a few bumps in the road, winding curvy roads to wake us up.
I for one am awake today, even after very little sleep, the journey was a longer one that normal, and I arrived back at home pretty late yet, my thoughts are alert, my mind set on enjoying life as much as I can, to love those around me fully, and to live as if its my last.. it very well could be.

That Time of Year

When I hear the phrase," It's that time of year again," I think of cool brisk mornings, fire on the mountains outside my window, heavy frost on the ground, and clear, blue skies filled with puffy,white clouds.
It is also that time of year, when different seasons of sports is taking a front seat and a few others are taking a back seat to popularity. Like baseball season is closing, football season has begun, and many of the colleges are beginning to practice basketball, and get geared up for another long season. My niece plays basketball, I enjoy going to her games tremendously, and for a few brief days, we the family, were not sure she would be on the court this season. But God is good, and he has answered prayers, and she is back out there practicing with her mates, a bit slower than normal I would guess, but still she is out there giving it her all. Much will change this season, a new face will be on the bench next to those ladies, and as of now, I do not know who it will be, but a new coach will take their seat next to those ladies in the red and white uniforms. And it will be an interesting season, no doubt, change always brings about interest that is peaked in the hearts of those involved.
And the cool nites, so crisp, so clean, welcome me as I come home either from church, school, or work. It welcomes me as an old dear friend, and I stop sometimes, take a look around, and bask in the favorite time of year, Fall. Soon, the leaves will turn, and they will begin to fall from the trees, and my emotions will get the best of me, and I will yearn for long drives that pull me along country roads, some known, some unknown. I look forward to this time of year from the first really hot day of summer, when the heat is boring down on you, making every inch of your skin sticky, and I let my mind wander, to the cool days that will slowly find there way to me, those crisp and cool days of Fall. Ah, I can see the bright colors already, though they have yet to be seen in the trees, the brilliant reds, bursting orange, and the pale yellow that brings those mellow feelings to my heart. Days gone by that I remember when we would pile up the raked leaves, run as fast as we could, jumping as high as possible and landing in those crunchy leaves. Only to rake them up, and start all over again.
Fall is the best season of all. It's my favorite season of all. And as it is slowly coming to my neighborhood, I smile and throw out my arms to welcome it home.

You know you're old when..

As I sit here today and my body hurts from too much activity yesterday painting at a friend's new apartment... I realize, I am getting old. Granted, this is not my first realization of my age, my body not willing to do things it did twenty years ago, but it sure resonignates again today, when my hands ache, my calves hurt, and my back is sore.

I don't blame my friend, granted I am sure she is sore today as well, we are not spring chicks anymore. But I still have a fast paced gait, I can outwalk most of my family, and some friends. I still read without glasses or contacts, and I still have a good amount of energy.

All of the things that I am able to do everyday I am eternally grateful. Everyday that I wake up I am thankful. I am thankful I can get out of bed, I can shower, that I have the knowledge to drive myself to and from the gym, and I am able to exercise and on the list goes, but all of these things are normal everyday occurances, simple, and easy, but I try to remind myself that there are those out there who can't dress themselves everyday, or drive a car, or fully use every limb they have. I am blessed beyond measure, beyond my own deservance, and so.. I end this with a thanks to my creator and God, who gives all these things to me, who can take them away at any moment in an instant, I praise God for the things, the very simple things that I am able to do for myself everyday.

May each of us be grateful for the mercy and grace we are given by the Lord who loves us.

Why is it when you are 17.. your world is ending.?

The past few weeks have been a huge blur. Time has passed so quickly and I have barely had a chance to rest or even catch up.

But as life swirls around me, running ahead, and leaving me somewhere in between, I hear a voice crying out to me, and it says..." Why is it when you are 17.. your world is ending.. because??" And I am sure we can fill in a blank or two there, like when your current boyfriend breaks up with you, and you think you were supposed to be with him forever. Like at 17 you even know what forever entails?
And so, my thoughts are on a certain 17 year old, a girl who has her life before her, has just graduated high school, thought she knew where she was going to college, and had her next four years all mapped out. So what happens to change those plans? Life, love, and fear.
All of the sudden she isn't sure of much of anything, and she is faced with choices she has made, which, for the most part were not so great. I mean really, do you even consider other people when you are 17? Do you care if your actions cause other people pain and heartbreak? Or if you cause your mom to loose sleep because she doesn't know where she went wrong in raising this child which no longer resembles the girl she gave birth to. Does she care if she broke a promise she made, or a heart that was planning plans of his own?
I don't know any of those answers. I do know that she is fearful, scared, and unsure of herself. I know that because she thought she had found someone fun, who offered her a bit more of a different perspective of life than what she had, seemed a bit more adventurous for a few days. That she was willing to give up on a promise to love someone, who had also promised to love her too. And the ring came off, and her guard is down, and doubts creep in like the rolling fog.
But then, reality sets in. She is still afraid, unsure, and scared. But somewhere along the way she realized, maybe the adventure isn't so great after all, maybe the green of the grass is just the same green over on this side of the fence. Whatever caused her to feel that the choices she made on a whem were not necessarily so great as she orginally thought, well, I for one am glad to see, that some sense has crept back into her cute little head.
But then, she is still 17, young, and not mature. No life lessons to look back to, or to learn from. Just the road ahead, and, well, she is fearful. And I say to her, " Honey, it's normal to be afraid, to be unsure, and to be a little lost. But don't let fear stand in the way of you going to a college not close to home, or to stay with someone that isn't so bold and fun that he might jump off a huge building with a small bouncy cable attatched to his body. Just because he is practical, and plans ahead doesn't mean he is boring."
And to those 17 year olds out there, who are lost, scared, and fearful, I simply say, " it's ok, life will go on, and tomorrow is yet another day."

Being there

 I had to learn a hard lesson this wkend, I had to stay home due to sickness, from my niece's last home basketball game. She plays college ball for a Christian school in Pulaski, TN. I have not missed a home game all year. I have also been very fortunate to be able to travel to most of her games that were away that was within our driving range. I enjoy watching my beloved niece play her most favorite sport, I love being able to support her and her mates. I love being with my other family members that are there along side of me as well. It's a pretty intense time, there is lot's of yelling, on my part, some bad, some good, and lot's of watching the game from the edge of my seat.

 Granted this is not your divison 1 A basketball, like the Lady Vols, but still, it's basketball and these ladies play hard. 

 Anyway, yesterday, much like today, I am being held prisoner in my home due to a serious sinus infection. And it is against my will. I would have much rather been at the game yesterday than sitting here at home, however, I was able to listen to the game and feel somewhat connected to it via my little, home technology computer. I am happy that I could at least listen to it. T, my niece, short for Sweet T, is a very hard ball player. When she is out there on the court, she is out there for the win, and she will put in her 120 % to do it. I am proud of the fact that whatever she does, she gives it her best. Yet, when the minutes are up, the buzzer has sounded, and the score is down on their side, as it was yesterday, she tends to get upset. She gets upset and sometimes she cries. I hate to see her cry, but losing does do her good sometimes.  My lesson was, that even though I couldn't be there, I know I was missed, and yet just being able to listen to the game, I could tell my T, played her heart and soul out. GO T and the Lady Redhawks. They have two games this week, both away, and the season is over.  She has one more year to play college ball, one more year to endure hard practice sessions, one more year to put up with nasty players who do not play fair, one more year to endure unfair calls from the ref's, but the amazing thing is she is ready to give up her time, and do it. She may even have to give up part of her dream of being a nurse because she has her tuition paid for by her scholarship from ball. She is determined not to let it stop her from reaching her dreams.  I am so impressed that she won't give up. It pushes me to not give up either. I hope that I am that strong and determined in my own life that I can say I give that much of myself.  I hope I do. 

 So, being there is good, but not being there is good too. I saw the game from a different perspective yesterday, and sad that I couldn't be there to lend my support,  I was still able to enjoy the game, picture in my head how hard T played, as well as her teammates, and I learned it's the next best thing to being there. I had to visualize the game in my head, and I didn't get so tensed up over the crappy calls from the ref's and I didn't leave the game mad. I get mad too when the ref's give my girls a hard time, and don't call fairly for both sides. So yes, my frustration does get the best of me sometimes. But it was good that I could learn from that all the way from home. 

 I do pray that next year, I might be able to sit along side the court and not get so hyped up... but that is asking for a miracle.. cause her mates like to hear me yell. lol.  It's my way of letting T know, I am there for her, not only in body.  But maybe there is still some room for improvement on my part. I can only try. :) 

 Until next year T, and until you give up... I support you in whatever you do. I love you so much... and have enjoyed being and will continue to be your aunt G. 

 I am also thankful for my sister, who gave birth to two beautiful and wonderful girls, for my mom, who raised us to be there for each other, and for my step dad aka gramps, who is always there for all of us each day of our lives. 

 I hope that in the years to come I am able to enjoy my family, and be a blessing to them as well.. until next time... Blessings, and Go Lady Redhawks. Yea!!

Every Single Day

 I write today, of a song, by a very amazing Tn lady.. Jennifer Daniels, from Lookout Mtn Tn. And if you have not ever heard of her, well it's ok. She is a great singer, my co worker just described her voice as calming and I would have to say she is right. Her voice is calming, strong, vibrant, and husky at times. 

 She has written this song, titled none other than Every Single Day, it's a very private song that she has shared with her vast and growing fans. I praise her for that. Yea Jennifer. It's a song that upon hearing for the first time, made me cry, which is not often an easy task. I beg you all who may read this blog to go to your search engine, type in Jennifer Daniels, find her web page, and listen to this song.  

 She writes her own music, and she and her husband play together all over the place. I recently, well I say recently, at Christmas time heard my own little private concert with her. It was known to the public, but for whatever reason, most of the public stayed home. Granted this was at the Starbucks on top of Lookout Mtn, by Rock City, and granted it won't hold a lot of people, but no one wanted to come out that night. Except me and one of my friends. A few people trickled in here and there, eitehr by mistake or just for the coffee, but I was there for one reason, one reason only...to hear this new artist, at least to me, sing. And sing she did. She sang Every Single Day twice, once by my request.. once cause she wanted to.

 Anyway, one line from the song... goes like this.. if you decide to love me, I 'd really like to know, and we can stage the rest of our days, just to tell each other so. Let those days make up our lives let all our hair turn grey, I love you Every Single Day. 

 The song, is by far one of the greatest I have ever heard. The words so powerful, so true, they move you and moved me, to tears. 

 I request you to please check out this song and this amazingly talented artist. Jennifer Daniels.  

 Thanks for listening, if you check it out.. you won't be disappointed. 

As my day starts

 I suppose we are all alike to an extent? I don't know. But I think it's fairly possible. As I said, to an extent or degree. I think we all want to be accepted, loved, cherished and we all like things in our own little unique ways.

 My ways are simple, I like things where I left them. Mind you, they are not generally in the middle of the living room floor, but still, I like to come home each day and find things just as I left them. I like to have the same routine, even the same meal for lunch every day. Well Most every day. I do things, this random order if you will, to save time. I save time by making things easier, no decisions that make me think beyond  a second or two. I am a weird little person, this much I do know, and am oft reminded by my friends. I laugh, and say, yep, I am. I have this theory I guess, that if you don't have to decide what clothes to wear, that you have them prepared before hand, you don't waste time making decisions what to wear. I have my scrubs, my work attire if you will, all planned out according to the day of the week so when that said day comes, I do not waste time say hmm, shall I wear this today? It's all planned out, in my little scheme of things, and all I simply have to do is go into my closet, pull out Tuesday's outfit and put it on and go. 

 I do the same thing with my lunch. I take the same boring food to eat, every single day, for as long as at least three years. I eat a pepper jack cheese sandwich, I eat sun chips, garden salsa flavor, and an apple. However, over the course of the last few weeks I have added an upgrade if you will, an orange. If I had to sit back and try to formulate meals in my head for each day, I would literally go insane. I think that it's a waste of precious time. People do not know or understand how I can eat the same thing every day, for days, even weeks on end. It's simple, I hate spending time making decisions that are lengthy, wasteful, and sometimes, to me, silly.

 I do come home each evening, place my car keys in the same place, my purse hangs on the same door knob, and my coat hangs up in the same place that I took it from. I hate losing things, and for me, placing them in the same place each day, helps me to keep them within my view. Boring? Predictable? I answer yes to both of those questions, but still, it helps me save time looking for my keys, wondering where I put my coat, or where did I leave my purse? I think for the most part, I lead a very simple life, and so I do, yet, I can sit here at the end of my day, typing away on the computer, or reading books, and not have to worry where my keys are. Or if I will have to hunt something to wear for the next day, it's already planned out, layed out, and ready for me to put on, pick up and take off. 

 Some may think I am crazy, some think I am weird, and others, well... they just love me anyway. And for that, I am especially grateful

A New Year

 My New Year's was nothing grand, yet, I was able to stay awake past midnight, something I haven't done in quite a while. I was watching a movie as the New Year came in, and I was mindful of the fast approaching midnight. I received a few text messages from friends, smiling and replying to them with wishes for the upcoming new year. I didn't give much thought to it until a few days later, and it was during Sunday Service that I began to ponder this brand new year and to question myself, as I always do, about the changes I am going to make for myself. We had a great message from our Pastor that morning, and surprisingly, at our new building dedication, the guest speaker used the same title for the message. And it has me thinking, as I am always doing, silently pondering within my mind and heart. The message title was no other than, " What is it that God is Requiring of Me This Year?"  It was a pretty simple message, and the things that stuck out in my simple mind, was the main things that both of these minister's touched upon, God wants my Love, Obedience, and Attention. How often though does he get those three things from me, and is it with my whole heart and devotion to him that I give it? 

  To answer those things, I have to take a long look at my relationship with my God and say, that I try very hard to be obedient, I do love him, and I try to give him my attention, but sadly, it isn't with my whole being I do those things, but it also isn't because I am trying to impress someone with my religious life that I do any or one of those things. I do it, simply because I need Him in my life. I need his word to start off my day, to reinforce that I am to serve him and love him, and that I am to read his word to map my life according to his.  I need quiet time with him, and my time is early in the morning before anyone is awake in my house, before the lights shine so bright in the kitchen, before my folks coffee pot brews, before the radio is turned on, or the TV set comes on, just so that I may read a few passages in the quiet semi still hours before all gets busy. I try to pray each day before  I leave, and I try to remember those in need. I pray for protection for my family, and I thank Him every day for giving me another precious day. I never know what is in store, but I can face it with the knowledge that God loves me, and is with me no matter where I go. 

 So I may not do things exactly the way I should, but sometimes I am reminded that He isn't through with me just yet. I am still a work in progress. Thank goodness. :) 

To Text or Not to Text.?

I hear all sorts of conversations about text messaging, "why do you like to waste your time pushing buttons to get your words sent instead calling someone." "Or why do you want to do something that seems so inpersonal?"
Whether it's impersonal or not, I like text messaging. I like it simply because it is another form of writting. I like it because sometimes you don't want your phone conversations heard, so silent typing keeps your words from being heard. Yeah, I have to admitt, it's not as personal as hearing a voice on the other end of the phone but, those little messages popping up on the face of my phone pretty exciting and I can't wait to read what is behind that little screent that displays you have a new text message.
I still like to pick up the phone and hear my best friend's voice. It makes my day to hear the voice of my friend, or to see that someone has sent me a text message that says, Happy Birthday.
From my earlier posting, I stated my verbal skills were lacking, somewhat, and so texting is happy times for me. Just as I am typing this blog here now, which I love to write, and I wonder to myself, why I don't do more of it outside my cell phone. ? So.. here I am, typing these blogs, in hopes someone might find them that can relate to my words. I hope so.
But even if no one does, it's ok.. I can read from them and learn something I hope.

Until next time... :O)