Thoughts of Christmas

Thou Christmas has come and gone so many thoughts swirl around in my head, like, Jesus, family, and friends. Also many thoughts of sparkling lights, stores filled with anxious shoppers, and a small house I once thought was quite large.

This Christmas season I did something out of the ordinary, I visited the house my grandmother lived in, a house that once held the fondest memories, the best smells, and the feeling that no matter what was going on in the world, here, I felt safe.

I can't actually remember the last time I went there, but it doesn't hold those warm feelings for me anymore. My aunt, and my uncle both still live there, yet, I find no reason to make a seven mile trek to visit them. But because my Mom asked me to, I went this year. Everyone wanted to gather there, to visit siblings, and reconnect. I was not inclined to do those things, but yet, I was driven there by a need to be respectful of my mother's feelings. So I went.

The house is still the same, yet different. It's a small house, it's not ornate, or grand, yet it housed the best treasure of my childhood, my grandmother. The smells I remember are gone, her cooking fried chicken, or fresh baked cake. The same metal sink is still in the kitchen, a few changes have taken place, a new room or two have been added, yet, some of the same things were there, a couch my grandmother had, I am sure her quilts were put away somewhere, and pictures that were sitting around that have been there as long as I can remember.

Seeing my family was a bit awkward, since I rarely see most of them, and eating food not cooked by my grandmother was a bit strange. I sat there wondering how I could have thought this 3 or 4 room house could have been big to my small eyes? Yet, it was back then. I felt I couldn't ever find all the rooms, and explore all the contents. But this day, I saw how small the house was, a shell of what it once was. For all the reason for me being there were gone. My grandparents are dead, and the house doesn't hold the same sentiment as it once did. I find it difficult to go back there, find it difficult to face the warm memories of my youth, and that none of that warmness lingers there, only inside me.

So that was part of my Christmas experience this year. Though it was rough, I did it, and yet, I don't expect to go back there anytime soon. I don't have to be in the house to remember the fires that burned in the stove, the fresh cooked meals that were prepared lovingly by my Grannie's hands, or the hugs received as we left out the door. No, I can remember them right here where I sit, and sometimes I allow myself those memories, other times, it's too much to bear or endure.

This Christmas was a good one, we were blessed with enough food to fill our stomach, enough laughter to fill our hearts, and enough love to spill over til the next time we are together. I thank Jesus, for coming to earth, being a sacrifice for all, and for his promise to return. I hope some of those memories were with some of you as well. For, after all, He is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas, Jesus.

What a Day can bring

Easter has come and gone, and you never know what a day will bring forth. It certainly was a challenge for me mainly, because I was sick. We had a house full of family along with some wonderful food, and my favorite, dessert ha ha.

I had a hard time enduring all the chatter, or even taking part in it due to my sinus's were acting up, and still are for that matter.

I heard my sister say that all three of my aunts hide their sweets from others, a trait that came from my grandpa.

I heard my brother tell about the racing that my uncle Don did way back in his day. And how no one could touch him. Many facts like, in the old house my uncle lived in, every corner was full of trophies from said races, most of which he won 1st or 2nd place. And my brother told the story about my uncle's wrecked race car and how it was buried up to the roof in my grandpa's field. Not too many people can say they could look at a race car sticking up out of the ground. No not many.

My uncle Ronald told the story about the first time he went to pick up my aunt for a date, how the door opened after he knocked, but no one was standing there when it was fully open.. needless to say, I am sure that was nearly enough to scare him to death, or make him not want to go in. I don't think my grandpa invited him in, and he said, my grandpa never spoke one single word to him that day. He was a man of few words, so you better listen closely when he did speak.

We had many stories that day, among those mentioned above. And I relish in them each time they are told, like it is my first time hearing them. I could hear them over and over and never tire of them.

Maybe on Mother's Day, we will hear some more.

One sad note, Tiffany was not able to be with us, but on a brighter note, Trista did... which made my day. Maybe next year Tiff can be with us.

And so, I sign off, with these stories churning round in my head. They are by far some of my favorite childhood memories.

Have a good day.

Selfish

A New Year is here. It is hard for me to imagine that we live in the year 2010. Reality has not set in yet. As I complained about Christmas, it has approached me, and past on by like a gentle breeze. This has been one of the Best Christmas's in a while and I will explain why; I didn't go out spending a lot of money. In fact I gave money to a few people and I bought one small present. I received a great deal more and I will continue to explain.

I didn't have a Christmas list, I didn't tell anyone of one single gift I wanted and to be honest, I didn't receive one single gift that was wrapped up in shiny paper or draped with bows or ribbons. What I did receive, the best gift I think of all; spending the day with family, more importantly making sure my family knows how much they mean to me. And for making friends that eat Christmas lunch with us feel like they are family. It was a great day, although nothing out of the ordinary occurred. What made it great was who I was with, the time that we spent, sharing the food, and the laughter, hugs and spread love.

And so, with that said, my title invokes such a different message, and I am certainly getting to that believe you me.

Selfish, what does this word mean? What sort of images arise in your minds when you hear this word? For me, it's someone so wrapped up in themselves that they can't see anyone else. It's someone that thinks they are the most important person on the planet, even though they are but a tiny dot in the humanity of this world in which we live. They are people who talk non stop about themselves, not giving anyone a chance to even respond.

I have encountered people such as this, and every time I do, I wonder in my own head, am I that way? Of course, we would never think that of ourselves, but really " are we?"

When you look at the image in the mirror, who is looking back at you?

Are you the kind of person who holds the door for others, who may help a stranger on the street? The kind of person who doesn't complain about long lines, or being in a rush? The kind of person who smiles at others even if you don't know them? Or are you the kind of person who walks around blindly never seeing the world in front of you? Who never knows the people that could impact your life because you are to wrapped up in yourself? Too wrapped up to see that people have needs, people need you, or that people actually might have feelings to?

Next time we look into the mirror, pay attention to who is looking back at you... and tell me, who do you see?